{our baby story… again}

If you remember, it took us an incredibly long time to have Alice. Two years. Two years is such a long time to wait, and hope, and count the days until you can start the whole waiting and hoping all over again.  So almost as soon as Alice was born we talked about when we were going to start trying for #2 – maybe we even talked about it before Alice was born…. That’s how crazy we were.

We decided that Christmas was our “go date.” Alice would be 9 months old and they would be 18 months apart it worked right away.  We figured, 18 months is doable and was our minimum for age in between babies. So we started right after the new year. I was really optimistic.  I 100% had the impression that that damned clear blue fertility monitor was magic and would work right away again.

After a failed first month, we were a little disappointed, but ok. 18 months is actually pretty scary. Gahhhh… Two babies at once?! No thanks.  So we tried again the next month and BAM. BAM! Pregnant. Wow. We couldn’t believe it. Really?! Ok.  Now I’m convinced that fertility monitor is magic.

I think it took me a while to really process the fact that we were going to have another baby… already!  When we’d tell people and they’d ask if we were excited, I would hesitate. It’s not that I wasn’t excited, I was. Really. But early on I was more terrified than anything else. Two babies. Alice will only be 19 months when this baby is born (in the beginning of winter by the way…).  19 months is still a baby. Yea yea, she is a toddler, but in the scheme of life as a whole, 19 months is still a baby. Scary.

So after weeks of really processing everything I started to feel a lot more excited.  I’m still nervous, but not terrified anymore.  I guess that’s good, right?

So Alice is going to be a big sister! How exciting! November 6, 2015. Hopefully this one will come a week early like Alice so we can have a Halloween baby!

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We decided that we were going to find out the sex for this baby. Derek really wanted to know and I was on the fence. I just remember reaching a point in the pregnancy with Alice near the end where I completely wished I knew if I was having a boy or girl. Like, would have done anything to find out. I didn’t want to feel like that again, so, what the hell?! Let’s find out.

Derek really was hoping for a boy. I was really hoping for a girl. I don’t know what to do with a boy… What do they like? How do you raise one? They have…. penises… I don’t know….

The more I thought about this baby the more I convinced myself it was a boy. Maybe to emotionally prepare myself in the event it was. You know, the more time I think about it, maybe the more ok and relaxed I will be with the idea of having a boy. Right…? Right.

When you are pregnant a second time (and I assume all the other times after that, too) people like to always ask if your pregnancies “feel the same.” I don’t know…. I think so….? Things have been going pretty similarly to when I was pregnant with Alice.  Nothing too different, except I was dead tired during the first trimester.  Like being depressed without the depressed mood. I was 100% apathetic toward everything. I couldn’t even manage to text people back (too much work), I slept all the time, I couldn’t muster up the energy to get off the couch to go to bed, I would just sit and stare. I pretty much was just a blob of a person existing on my couch… Then one night I slept for like 15 hours and never felt that way again. Done. Thankfully. It was awful.  But really, that was the only difference with Alice and this one – and maybe it was only because last time I didn’t have to take care of a 12 month old…

We decided that when we got the ultrasound we would have the tech write it down, go out to dinner, and open it alone so we could make it special and really enjoy it.  I was 99% convinced we were having a boy. I’m usually pretty accurate with my guesses, I’ve only been wrong one other time.  I’m pretty good at this. 

We went to the ultrasound and then went to dinner at a small bistro in Zeeland to open the results. 

GIRL! Girl! Yay!

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It took me a while to really process it, but I’m so so so so excited! Like beyond excited! Two baby girls! Ahhh! Yay! Also, girl names and girl clothes are wayyyy better than boy names and clothes. So, score! AND – two girls are cheaper.  Hello, hand-me-downs! Sorry, baby.

Derek is a little sad we aren’t having a boy, but we want to have lots of kids, so hopefully he will get his wish at some point.  I admit, a small (very small) part if me is sad we aren’t having a boy, but I am loving the idea of having another girl!

We also decided that once we pick a name, we aren’t telling anyone. So don’t try to pressure me.  Be patient.

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